When I first learned that chemotherapy would be a part of my treatment regime I tried to think of something that I could do or give to those who would also be at the hospital doing the same. I made a committment then that no matter how I was feeling, I would be the bright spot in their experience. I shared this with sweet Sue..otherwise known as my angel. Today, she excitedly came to my home with a brown box secured together with a plaid ribbon. Upon opening the box, I found 12 flower pins made by Sue's daughters to be part of that bright spot I committed to be. So, my plan is to take the pins and give them to those around me when I have chemo. Sue scatters sunshine wherever she goes as she daily gives loving service to others. I have been the recipient of many, many of those daily acts of service so it is only fitting that the light of her love and example should add to my own to hopefully, lift the heaviness of the experience for others. Included with my gift for others was a bag for me created by her husband Max who many years ago also went through chemotherapy. Contained in the bag were word games, chocolate and the most delightful part... a book of fairytales. Only fitting for someone who believes in fairytales, in happy endings, prince charming, and that good prevails.
I also recieved a care package today from another friend , Marcia who was diagnosed with breast cancer just a few weeks after me. She began her chemo last week and even though she was weak and tired, climbed the long stairway to my office to bring gifts that would make my first treatment bearable. I imagine that walking this path together will create a sisterhood that we have yet to experience.
Tonight, I am content and at peace. It is hard for me to take in the love and support that is being extended my way. It is difficult to feel that I am worthy of such amazing service. I want each of you to know that you are giving me the greatest gift one can acquire in this life. Through your kindness, service, generosity, prayers and love I am coming to a genuine knowledge of the Savior's love for me. I feel it with every card and gift extended. I see it in your eyes and I am humbled beyond words at the message that it instills in me. I don't know how to say thank you for that...words that I might think of seem meaningless in comparison. I can only look forward to the day when, in the presence of our Heavenly Father, words are not needed to experience the depth of love in our hearts.
My check in tonight is... physically, I feel wonderful and alive, emotionally, I am happy and upbeat, spiritually, my heart is touched. My committment is to always 'remember', and my affirmation is...
I am brimming over with love for life.
Gratitude and love always...Cyndi
I love Sue. One of the things I hope you learn from this is that you are worthy of all of this. I'm so thankful we finally have a chance to show you how special you are.
ReplyDeleteI love you Mom.
You are definately worthy Cyndi, and always have been! You are loved by so many, including me! I have something to drop off to you later, just a warning. ;)
ReplyDeleteAubrie
Mama Cyndi!
ReplyDeleteNicole and I just caught up on your blog. We are so proud of the incredible spirit you are and the example of strength and perseverance you are to us. No offense to any mothers out there but my Mom is the baddest ass mom in the whole damn universe!!!!
I was inspired to hear such positivity in your voice tonight on the phone, on the eve of your first chemo treatment. Wow, you are tough as leather! Your mind is special Mom. You have been chosen by God to experience great challenges to become a strong son of a gun. You have answered the calling. You make me want to be a better person.
Thank you for all you do for me Mom. And thank you for treating Nicole like she is one of your own daughters. She feels she has found a new friend, and even a new mother that truly understands her and that she can connect with.
And to have Grandma tell me that you told her you are proud of me is something I've wanted to hear for so long. I'm so honored that you feel that way. I know I have a long way to go, but you being proud of me makes me feel like I've become a good man again and I"m on the right track.
We love you Mom. We love you more than a book of infinite words could describe. Tonight we will pray for you as a family--not in sadness or out of fear or anxiety, but out of gratitude toward the incredible woman we have been blessed with in our lives and the uncanny courage you are facing your challenge with.
God is with you, and He is with us all!
I would also like to thank my sisters, aunts, grandparents, friends of the family and all others that have made what could have been a devastating experience--into a remarkable opportunity to grow and bond together and rally around a woman that means so much to us. Katie, Angie, and Amy--you are unreal! And the rest of you have been incredible in your support.
Let's not fret, for Mom wants us to be happy and thankful for our blessings. This disease, as deadly as it can be has united us together closely as family and friends. And it's just one more layer of tough leather to add to Mom's many layers. I love you all. And Mom if you need me tomorrow, you can find me in your heart!
I love you! Go Cyndi! GO!