In order to keep my committment, I am not going to delete my previous blog. My feelings were real and in order for this to be meaningful..I can't delete the bad stuff. This is bad stuff..no matter how you twist it, turn it, word it, reword it...this is bad stuff.
I stepped outside to take the puppies and Lucy out to find my neighbor out shoveling the walks. Before I could think about it I just blurted out that I needed a blessing. Minutes later he and his wife appeared at my door and sat down and talked with me. She held me and let me cry it out and when I was calm...he proceeded to give me a Priesthood blessing. My fear caused me to initially doubt every word he said but by the time he finished the blessing...I was calm and 'cyndibug' resurfaced. Ahhhh..whew...that was a close call.
Lesson learned...meltdowns are better shared, the power of the Priesthood can reach even the most resistant hearts, brownies are good, and despair can quickly turn to hope when all those elements are in place.
Thank you for listening, for caring, and for allowing me to be genuine..even when it isn't pretty. Love and gratitude always..Cyndi