Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars.~Unknown







Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Cancer

I was going to take notes today, and post all the information. All the statistics, and random facts, survival rates, remission rates, etc. But I changed my mind. Right now I don't have the energy to care about all of that.

The thought that keeps running through my mind most prevalently is simply that my mom has CANCER. It's hard to grasp. Everything seems surreal. There's a certain numbness that comes, that enables you to take just the steps and do what you have to do. Every once in awhile the feeling sets in, and I'm not sure any of us can do this. But we don't have the option of throwing in the towel just yet, so here we are. Getting ready to take it on.

The only thing I wanted to hear today was that she would survive. I had to pry it out of one of the doctors but eventually she said yes, she will most likely live. But that she has a long road of treatment ahead of her.

I'll start from the beginning. My mom noticed a lump a few weeks ago. We encouraged her to get it checked, and two weeks ago on Saturday she went to her doctor. He sent her to get a mammogram the next Monday. While she was there they decided to do an ultrasound. They sent her back to the doctor who told her that the Radiologist was almost positive it was cancer. She met with a surgeon that Wednesday to see about having the tumor removed. He sent her to have an MRI on Friday. In the MRI they found that there was a tumor that was about 2 centimeters, and another suspicious growth behind it. They also noticed that her lymph nodes looked abnormal. They scheduled her to have a biopsy this Monday. We received the results of that today. We were well aware that the odds were that it was cancer, but were still praying and crossing our fingers that we could have a miracle.

They tested three different spots and each tested positive for cancer. They called it invasive ductal cancer. Since the lymph nodes they tested were positive, they are not sure how far it has spread. She is scheduled for a double masectomy next Wednesday, during which they will pull out more lymph nodes, which will tell us how far the cancer has spread. That will also help to decide the course of the chemo and radiation.

We met today with the Surgeon, the Oncologist, and the Radiation Oncologist. They spoke to us a little about what the plan for the next year is. Essentially surgery, then chemo, then radiation. We don't know many details other than that. We also met with a Genetic Counselor who discussed the possibilities of genetic testing to discover if my mom is a carrier of a certain gene that is known to increase the risk of cancer. My great grandma, my great aunt and my mom's two cousins all had either ovarian or breast cancer. They are suspicious that my mom is a carrier of this gene. This will also help them when developing her treatment course.

She is struggling emotionally. She is concerned obviously about the effect on her physical appearance. She's also concerned about how far the cancer has spread. I think today it all became real. She will be okay, but as for right now she is hurting.

My mom has dedicated her life to helping others. She has given when she didn't have anything to give. She is having a hard time with the thought of being on the receiving end. But she's going to come to terms with that, because if anyone deserves the help and the support, it's her.

She's has a long road ahead of her. But she's strong and she has a strong support system. And we're going to do everything we can to keep her fighting. Because we love her and need her. And the world needs her.

There are lots of details in my head tonight. Way too much to sort through. But the one thing I do know is that this is something a woman like my mother should not have to suffer through. But isn't that the point? The strongest are tested, because they are strong? And who's to say who should have cancer and who shouldn't? This is a new trial for our family. We're going to learn lots of new things, and right now we're just cautiously feeling our way through the first few steps.

So, the next step is surgery. Scheduled for next Wednesday, the 22nd, to remove both breasts. She will be home Thursday, and hopefully will be able to enjoy some type of Christmas. But if there's ever a year that I'm reminded that Christmas is not about gifts, but about love and our Savior, this is it.

I will try to update daily on how she is doing, and will also encourage her to post her feelings when she feels up to it.

16 comments:

  1. I'm so so sorry. Cancer sucks!

    The gene is the BRCA one...if she has it you and your sisters need to be tested as well.

    We're praying like crazy for your mom. She is so awesome, I hate that she has to be tried like this.

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  2. I love you Cyndi! You are in our thoughts and prayers. You are an amazing woman and you will beat this. You have an awesome support group fighting this right along with you. I love your family and they will be blessed during this trying time as well.

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  3. I am a friend of Angie's any my mom had stage 2 Breast Cancer 2 years ago and beat it. Keep your hopes up! If you girls have any questions please ask! My thoughts and prayers are with you!

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  4. Oh man Katie, you jerked the tears right out of my eyes and wrote exactly what I've been trying to say since I heard the news. The details or severity of the cancer don't really matter because Mom is going to beat this....and we will all be there for her. I could never pay her back for all she has done for me, Nicole, and Hunter-- but I'm sure as hell going to try. I love you Mom. You keep your spirits up and stay busy!!! I'll call you later

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  5. Grandma Cyndi is the richest person in the world to have a daughter like you! I can only imagine how difficult the journey will be, but how grateful you all must be that she went and got the lump checked out! My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I know you will all be even stronger once she beats this...and she will beat it!

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  6. My heart hurts for you and your family! I love you and am amazed at what a wonderful support system you are to each other! My prayers are with you all!!!

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  7. love you guys.. please let me help however i can! God is good + all is (or WILL BE) well. be brave!

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  8. Man, oh man, this cancer crap seems to hit every family! I'm getting real sick of it. Cyndi, I love you, miss you, and will pray for you. I know you'll get through this, but I'm sorry you have to make the journey.

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  9. Lots of love, tears and prayers for all of you!

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  10. Your mom is a good woman. She will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  11. Good job. The blog is a great idea. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

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  12. Hi Cyndi, We love you! As you know you have been one of the many blessings in our lives, you are a bright light in the world and I know that with the Lords help your light will continue to shine here for many more years to come. You have been s source of strength, support, love and hope for me and our family and especially Bella. Know that our love and prayers are with you and your family and doctors. Thank you Katie for creating this beautiful blog. And thank you Cyndi for sharing it with us. We have been concerned ever since we found out. Take care,and know that Our Father in Heaven is taking care of each of us and is there for us. We love you!

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  13. We love you Evans's! You are in our prayers. As I sit here and bawl, I just hope you feel all the love and prayers coming your way.

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  14. Cyndi, Tammy told me about your cancer. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.. Heavenly Father will bless you, I know. You are an amazing person who cares so much about others. I pray that you and your family will feel HIS love and be blessed as you recover. Love...JoAnn

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