Monday night

Got to spend Monday evening with my Mom. Just her and I. I really enjoyed it, but felt alot of heartache. I sat on the couch across from my mom and just watched her. She would doze off and you could just tell she felt miserable. Made me sad. Why her? She is one of the nicest people in this world.. I sat there and quietly cried. She is so strong. Put a total different prespective on life for me. I am going through a divorce, raising three kids on my own and working full time.. I struggle. And struggle some more.. I have been feeling very bad for myself lately, but after Monday night I realize there are so many people going through such hard times. The best way for me to get through my trials i have to be there for people that are going through hard times. Looking at my mom i realized how much i love her. She is amazing. She has been through so much and has had her fair share of hard times. She doesn't deserve this. I looked at her and thought, "gosh, i wish i could take her cancer away and take over the rest of the chemo and radiation" SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS. I admire the fact that no matter waht trials she is going through she is ALWAYS there for my siblings and I. She is my best friend and i can go to her for anything and she listens to me and understands me like no one ever has. She loves my kids more than anything and they know it. They adore her and ask about her at least 4 times a day :) I believe all this wickedness in the world; sickness, crimes, mean and scary people :), drugs, violence etc is Satan and i believe it will ALL come to an end. Its just the matter of when. I believe ALL of us can get through anything with Heavenly father by our side. I am not a very religious person but i FIRMLY believe that. Its all about PATIENCE. I love all my siblings more than they will EVER know or understand. We have had PLENTY of ups and downs, BUT they are my family and i love all of them. I strive every day to be a better sibling. I have a pretty awesome family :) I hope all this will make us all closer. Mom- All i can say is I LOVE YOU more than anything in this world, you are my best friend. I admire you and you are a huge role model to me. Thanks for ALWAYS being there for me even when i am not making the BEST choices. Thank you for all you have done and do for my kids. Thank you for accepting "me" for "me" I couldn't get through half of the stuff i have been through if it wasn't for you. Hang in there. As you always say, "YOU ARE LOVED" XOXO Mandi